40% of all proceeds will be donated to NEDA. (National Eating Disorder Associaton)
i had a really awful day today. mentally. but physically i felt shitty: i'm stressed about several things in my life, and my anxiety is really freaking high. i found myself in a strange place of taking out my anxiety and stress on something more surface level--my body. i began to feel uncomfortable in my body, experience PTSD symptoms, and channel negative energy toward my perception of myself inside and out. i felt like i couldn't breathe most of the day today and i had what i now recognize as false nostalgia for my past. i get mad at myself for having days like this. because i think that i should be totally fine now. and then i get mad at myself for being mad at myself...and the story i tell myself in my head is one out of a horror novel. i'm still working on my mind. my physical body is healed now, and my mind is so so much better, but i still gravitate toward taking out my anxiety on myself and thinking i'm worthless, less than, not good enough, etc. when i look at this comparison i don't miss how things used to be and i'm proud of the person i am now. i would rather be mad at myself for living life and having one bad day than not realize that every day is a bad day and continue to live under toxic circumstances, nearing death. i get that these photos that i post are jarring and hard to look at but if i can just show those of you that struggle like i once did...or struggle with any sort of anxiety disorder..just know that bad days happen but they build better days. for sure. & no i don't have blue hair again this photo is from 2 months ago lol
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